Because it is Sunday...

Oh no. Say it ain't so.

The person that wrote this commercial needs to be fired.



I can't believe they got through it with a straight face.

If you don't know why this is incredibly funny then you are naive and I love you for it.

And just for fun...

The sheriff ate my hat.

I was thinking about books this morning. And movies made about books. And books written after movies.

If you take a relatively unknown book, (For example Stardust by Niel Gaiman. He's my fav author) and decide to make a movie about it, why is the movie so vastly different than the book? I guess the studios bank on the fact that most people haven't read the book so its no big deal. But they must realize that people will read the book after and say WTF?

I think it is even more curious when they turn a screenplay in to a book and it is very different. I had an example but now I forgot it...
Damn drugs.

What are your theories?

An explosion of intellect.

I am working on a comparison of Mr. McCain and Mr. Obama's energy policies.
So far the most interesting thing I have discovered is that what the candidates are actually saying is considerably different than what the media tells us they are saying.
I don't know "why" that surprised me but it did. I should have this done in the next couple of days.

Anyways, here is your joke for today;

On the seventh day, God said, "Let there be football."
And it was good.
Later that day, God said, "Let there be one team to rule the others and set the standard for excellence."
With that, he plucked a star from the heavens and placed it on the helmet of silver and blue.
God said, "Let it be called, ''The Dallas Cowboys'' - America''s team."
Later that day, God said, "Even Cowboys need a**holes."
So he made their fans.

What's all the hubbub, bub?

Ladies and Gentlemen,

Meet your next president.

Although I generally avoid a political slant on the blog, but you can deal with it this once.

Even though many of you that read this are Republican, I hope that you can take a few minutes to read up on Barack's website. I think you will find that many of his positions mirror your own.

Fight the urge to vote for the candidate that is popular in your state/church/social circle.
Do a little bit of reading and learn about the candidates yourself.

Over the next few weeks I will be doing my share of reading on both candidates and will post anything that I find interesting. (Or not)

Why it sucks to be a Bears fan...

I love my Bears. I really do.

But come on...

Let's trade our great running back to the Jets and pin our hopes on an unproven back with an attitude. The best thing they did this offseason was to cut Cedric Benson after his DUI. But that leaves them with Adrian Peterson. In my opinion he is a great back *but* how much confidence can Lovie Smith have in him? He's been the #3 back for how many seasons? But who needs to run. At least we have our passing game...

So let's have a quarterback competition between two guys that would have to fight for third string on most other teams. Then, lets pick our starting quarterback based on which one is likely to screw up less than the other one.

At least the receivers are good. So lets get rid of the guy with the best hands on the team. Who wants a guy that will catch pretty much anything and is willing to go over the middle? Bah, not the Bears.
Instead, lets use a bunch of 3rd and 4th round picks that are cheap. We can save money to spend on improving our defence!

Oh wait. We don't really need to. (And didn't)

I will watch. I will yell. I will cheer. I will probably get way too emotional.
And they will lose. And lose.

Hell, maybe the Redskins will be good this year.

Ramalamadingdong

**Warning: This post may have too many swears for you. Sissy. Toughen up.**

So I decided this morning that one of my favorite words is "badass" although I think it might actually be two words...
It works for so many things.
A person can be a badass if they are...
Something that is awesometastic can be called badass
Somebody that is horrifically unattractive can have a badass. (Ok thats a stretch.)

Badass will never replace the combo of Rockstar/Rocks because it is more widely accepted. Mothers with infant children wont run away screaming when you call their baby a rockstar. (OK, some might) But if you tell them their child is a badass, watch out!
For some reason that makes you a freak.
Its almost as bad as trying to give them a doggie biscuit.


Some people just don't make any sense.

What is wrong with you people?

If I had a nickel for every time I said, "If I had a nickel" I would have a damn lot of nickels.

So I haven't blogged in a while. I keep promising to blog more. I suck.
These things I know.

But lately hasn't been my fault.
Technical difficulties, you see, I couldn't help it.

Anyways, I took last week off from work. I spent it with the most kick ass people on the planet. (Yes, the ever glamorous Maxine and the three-spawn.)
We did a little of this, a little of that, and generally just enjoyed each others company.

I have watched a ton of the Olympics, which is really strange considering I couldn't give a squirt of pee for any of the events. Oh, and I watched Popeye again the other day. Such an awesome flick.

For my next trick, I need to watch Office Space again. I haven't seen it in a while...

Hmm.

Other than that, I guess I'm pretty f'ing boring. How 'bout you?